Spot the Difference

Chelsea re Bosnich 2003:
"Chelsea Football Club can confirm that notice has been served on goalkeeper Mark Bosnich that his contract is being terminated under the terms of the FA Premier League. We will be saying nothing else on the matter"


Chelsea re Mutu 2004:
"We want to make clear that Chelsea has a zero tolerance policy towards drugs. This applies to both performance enhancing drugs or so-called ‘recreational’ drugs. They have no place at our club or in sport. Chelsea has terminated the contract of Adrian Mutu for gross misconduct."

Alan Pardew re Newton 2006:
"First of all, I would like to express my disappointment and sadness at the situation Shaun Newton finds himself in. He knows that he has let down his family, the Club, and of course, himself.

However, I can say now that, as a football club, we will stand by Shaun throughout this difficult time. West Ham United has always had a reputation as a family club and our belief here is that, when a member of your family is in trouble, you look after them.

Although we will continue to help and support Shaun through this difficult time, we are also acutely aware of our responsibilities as a Club, and he will face internal disciplinary action when all of the information surrounding his situation is clarified. However, I have seen at first hand the emotional and personal hell that Shaun Newton has been through in recent weeks, and our priority must be to help him - not abandon him. I hope his experience serves as a lesson to any sportsperson."

Who's the Scapegoat?

Very odd goings on at Villa. First the players are alleged to have invited a reporter to training to release a statement against Doug Ellis, that can be found here at the bottom of the page. Interviewed today, Lee Hendrie said he had never seen the statement. Sky Sports is indicating that Thomas Sorensen (always thought he was the revolutionary type) was one of the instigators. As I write David O'Leary is being questioned by the club, the suggestion being that if he is found to have been behind the statement he's out the door. How ridiculous.

Fact is, Villa fans want them both out. And they both know this- see here and here. What i expect is happening here is that both are trying to win favour by booting the other out the door. O'Leary might well have orchestrated the revolt, albeit pretty badly, to make Ellis' position untenable, therefore seeming the hero whilst getting Ellis out before he sacked him. Ellis can now sack O'Leary, which would certainly be a popular decision, diverting attention away from the fact that no-one likes him either. Get it? Both want to be responible for the others demise, diverting the fans from the fact that they are shit.

However hillarious it is to see Villa be repeatedly mediocre, do us a favour and both piss off.

Roeder's Lucky 7

Ah, Glen Roeder. My favourite person. What a lovely guy, eh? A player's manager. Give him a cuddle. Did marvellously to turn around Newcastle's season last season. Finished 7th didn't they? Oh shit.

Glen Roeder's mangerial history...

Gillingham
1992/93: Relegated (Div. 3)

Watford
1994/95: 7th (Div. 1)
1995/96: Relegated

West Ham
2001/2002: 7th (Prem.)
2002/2003: Relegated

Newcastle
2005/2006: 7th
2006/2007: ?

When Glen Roeder finishes 7th, he tends to get relegated the next season. As I write, Newcastle are struggling to hold SK Lillestrom to a draw in the first round of the Inter-Twobob Cup, have so far signed no-one this summer, Shearer has retired, and Owen's knee is fucked. They have also been linked to signing Juan Pablo Angel. Not looking good. Surely not?

Benji's Balls World Cup 2006 Awards

The 'Turn-up For the Books' XI
Players who played well wot you wouldn't have expected to innit.


















WAG of the Tournament
Raica Oliveira (Ronaldo's Missus)


David Ginola 'Because I'm Worth It' Award
Mauro Camoranesi


Ron Atkinson Rubbish Commentary Award
"Its Cannavaro, and its can you believe it!!!"
John "still calls Germany West Germany" Motson


Milan Baros 'I've Just Tripled My Asking Price' Award
Frank Ribery link


Funniest Moment
Maxi Rodriguez' flying girl slap:

Zidane's Mozart Moment

How incredibly sad. Concratulations to Italy, who deserved it (see below), but unfortunately i will remember tonight for the wrong reason. The greatest player i have ever seen play tonight ended his carrer in front of billions, in inexplicable disgrace. A poisonous ending to a magical career.

It is one of life's great ironies that thin lines divide the bounds between genius and madness, and tonight Zidane demonstrated the disasterous deviation from one to the other. As with out very own Wayne Rooney, Zidane has always had it in him to loose it (remember that stamp on the Suadi player in 1998?), and such it seems are the tragic by-products of brilliance.

But does everyone remeber Mozart for shitting on his girlfriends chest? Or Churchill for being a virulant racist? Exactly. Lets not remember Zidane for his headbutt. Talk about it for a bit by all means, but don't lose context. Instead lets remember him for this...

The Maths of it All...

Have noticed that opinion is split over who to support tonight, so have devised a simple points system to work this one out. Sitting comfortably...

France
Fabien Barthez is a knob, and shouldn't be in the team as Cupet is better -4 points

Zinedine Zidane is truly God-like, and winning the World Cup twice would confirm his place alongside Pele and Maradona as one of the greatest players ever. +17 points

Abidal and Malouda are average, its always a shame for these types of player to be in a World Cup winning team (circa Guivarc'h) -7 points

Thierry Henry is one of the greats of the modern game, and did not play in the 1998 final, so desrves his bit of history +14 points

Thierry Henry is an arrogant git, a bad loser and has thrown himself around like a big girl this tournament -14 points

Domenech dropped Trezuguet in favour of allowing Ribery to be an extra attacker from midfield, just about making up for not taking Guily +4 points

Barthez, Thuram, Vieira, Zidane and Henry have already acheived enough, share the love boys... -10 points

Cluade Makalele played little part in World Cup 98 or Euro 2000, and is one of the finest if not the best defensive midfielders in the World, deserves to win something +12 points

total..... 12 Points

Italy
Their domestic game is a disgrace, and the fans of Juve, Lazio, AC Fiorentina might be about to see thier teams relegated because of the corruption of the arseholes running their clubs. Definitely need something to cheer about +15 points

Mauro Camoranesi really does have beautiful hair +4 points

They are an annoying team who winge and cheat. Beat Ghana 2-0 whn it should have been a draw. -11 points

Buffon, Cannavarro, Zambrotta, Pirlo and Gattuso are truly world class players who deserve to have won major international honours in their career. Del Piero was a world class player a few years back too, so deserves something as well. +12 points

De Rossi's elbow -4 points

When the Italians score a goal thay all try to celebrate like Tardelli in '82, which is really cool. Much better than Thierry Henry's pompous eyebrow twitch. +7 points

Francesco Totti is overrated. -8 points

total... 15 points

So there you have it. Support Italy. I'm off to eat some pizza whilst being financially suspect.....

Yes Sir, I Bite my Thumb at You!!

In response to my last blog i would like to respond to a few comments that got my goat.

1)"last World Cup Nicky Butt was considered by many as our best player in a holding midfield role akin to Hargreaves'" Nicky Butt never put in a performance for England like Hargreaves did vs Portugal.

2)"Pretty sure you were like the majority of the population and a Hargreaves doubter on more than one occasion". In fact before the WC i was in favour of Carragher in the holding role, and yes, i didn't give Hargreaves the time of day. link.

3)"I honestly think it is easier to have a good game in this position than any other position, or that people in this country are just amazed at all the short range passes they are required to make. You just have to sit back and not be too daring, cover the full backs and English people like the unsung hero, someone behind the scenes who, in the glitzy English midfield, takes a back seat, says 'Go on then Stevie, have a run, i've got it covered'." The defensive midfield position is 'easy', well thats just poopoo. Roy Keane, Edgar Davids of old, Makalele, Mascherano, Gattuso, Vieira, were/are all arguably the most important players on their team. If England are to play any three/four or Gerrard, Lampard, Joey Cole or Lennon, the the defensive midfielder will be the most important position in the team. The fact that Hargreaves did more in one game than Carrick and Carragher did in their two put together shows the difference between playing well and playing badly in that position.

4) "I think McClaren would be a fool to drop Beckham straight away, he assisted or scored three of our five goals at the World Cup, the phrase 'kneejerk' comes to mind when daring to think of Lennon"Unfortunately by relinquishing the armband Becks did not do enough. Yes he got some assists and a goal, but like Shearer before him, his syle is that in which the team is sculpted, and has been one of the major factors inhibiting England over the last few years. Who wants to be pinging 40 yard balls to little Wayne and Owen, regardless of how inch perfect they are. Beckham is dead, long live Aaron Lennon (or SWP if he gets better)

5)"I'd also like to point out that bar some really shakey moments during the Sweden game I was thrilled with our two centre halfs" Rio was excellent, Terry was good but not up to his Chealsea standards. Actually the shaky moments vs Sweden coincided with Campbell coming on. Either way our biggest problem is Paul Robinson, who despite being a marvellous shotstopper did not command his defence and looked nervous throghout the WC. Needs to grow bigger balls..compare him to Kahn opr Lehmann or Schmeical etc...bit of a worry this one.

Aaaaaaaaah, thats better. By the way, the two playa haters getting my back up were the co-stars of Malking Tovies, a really very good movie podcast. If either of them want a fight i'm well up for it...

Always look on the brght side...

Its been a while since i last blogged properly. There's a simple explanation for this. About a month ago i finished university, and freed from the shackles of academia i have been having a rather good time, alcoholically speaking. Anyway, in this brief moment of sobriety i thought i'd cheer you all up. Here's the positives from England's far from brilliant World Cup experience.

1) Sven is gone. Good Riddance.

2) Turns out Owen Hargreaves is pretty ace. I never doubted him.

3) Beckham has quit as captain. This will solve a lot of problems in team selection. He is a great player, not world class, but great. He is, however, not good enough to play on the right for Enlgand, which is surely now the property of Aaron Lennon. Lets hope Maclaren has the balls to enact this. Furthermore, whilst Beckham was able to lead by example, he was not really able to lead in any other way. Gerrard or Terry can lead by example and give rousing team talks, chip in tactically etc...

4) Frank Lampard has shown that he is a poor man's Stevie Gerrard. If England's midfield is to become a diamond with Hargreaves playing deep, Gerrard will surely now be picked as the forward option. Midfield solved?: Cole, Hargreaves, Gerrard, Lennon.

5) Hopefully we have seen the last of Chriatiano Ronaldo in the premiership. He is an absolutely brilliant player, but you'd have to be better than Ronaldinho to make up for the sheer amnmount of twattishness he has demonstrated.

6) We are in good company. Brazil, Argentina and Spain (who would have thought?) also badly underacheived.

7)Our best XI are all young enough to be in fine form for Euro 2008.

The Maclaren era begins!!!!!!(cue uprorious excitement)