Mr Galactico Galacti-goes!

In what was a bit of a shock, Florentino Perez resigned as president of Real Madrid last night. I actually think this is a respectable move by a businessman whose plan has quite simply not worked. The failure of his plan signifies something more important though, which I would like to briefly outline.

The ‘Galactico’ system- buying the best players in the world every year- was fundamentally flawed. If one is to look at the two players that exemplify the Galactico policy, Zidane and Ronaldo (with 6 World Player of the Year awards between them), an obvious question arises…what have they got to prove? Both have won world cups, virtually single-handedly, and between them boast virtually every major trophy the game has to offer.

The theme was repetitive throughout the team: Last year, if the Real Madrid starting XI got all their (major) medal out at the same time they would have had 21 La Liga titles, 17 Champions Leagues, 6 World Cups, 7 World Player of the Years, 5 European Player of the Years, 2 UEFA Cups, 4 Premierships, 3 Sirea As, 5 Copa Americas, 1 European Championship, 1 Copa Libertadores, and a partridge in a pear tree. What they wouldn’t have had: much hunger.

If you look at the main protagonists of the teams dominating Spain and England at the moment, Chealsea and Barcelona’s players don’t boast much between them, in crude English: they fucking want it. As we saw against Arsenal the other night, Real Madrid don’t seem that bothered, they’ve been there and got the T-shirt. Another obvious problem with buying Galacticos is that by their very nature they have hit their peak. They can only get worse, circa Zidane and Ronaldo. What they might have brought in shirt sales, they have stopped bringing in success. Perez clearly began to see that his masterplan was flawed, and the signings of Robinho, Baptista, Cicinho and Cassano show that they are moving in the right direction: buying young players who want to win, but this is too little too late.

Similarly whilst Perez has bought Galacticos, he has appointed buffoons to coach them. Duh! Real Madrid have recently been coached by Carlos Quieroz (randomly appointed after being assistant at an underachieving Man United- lasted a year), Wanderlay Luxemburgo (the guy who managed NOT to win the World Cup with Brazil) and John Toshak (frankly ridiculous).

So, a new era begins. If I was Real Madrid I would go for the Milan Mandaric-Harry Redknapp combo, with the ‘buyrandomio’ policy. Safe as houses.

What do Sven's squads and Michael Owen's spare time have in common?

It thrills me to find that Sven Goran Eriksson is clearly planning to go out in the manner that has underpinned the majority of his tenure: a blaze of conservatism. I’m not Mr Loverman’s biggest fan, but my current gripe is with his squad selection for the upcoming game against Uruguay. Lets face it, we all know exactly what the starting XI will be if all remain fit for this summer. This is not what concerns me; I would pick the same as Sven. What troubles me is his lack of imagination with the remaining 12.

In a wave of unpredictable exuberance Sven has given a Bent a shot. Bully for him. A number of players, however, may feel slightly aggrieved at having not been give a shot. The Uruguay game is the last time for Sven to have a bit of a play before settling. His choice of Richardson, Carrick and Jenas as backup midfielders is about as exciting as curling. We know exactly what sort they are; decent players with couple of caps between them, definitely not going to set the world on fire between now and the World Cup, nothing special internationally speaking. So what’s the fucking point? Even if they go to Germany they’re not going to play anyway.


Two omissions are obvious, both better than the triumvirate of mediocrity mentioned above. An injury to Cole, Lampard or Gerrard would inevitably change the midfield formation to a diamond, the only reason we don’t have one right now is that Lampard and Gerrard are too go not to both start (you work it out). The only decent, and actually pretty good defensive midfielder we have is Scott Parker (above). Playing Rio or King in midfield is a mistake, Gerrard or Lampard are wasted there, and Hargreaves and Carrick not good enough. Parker would be our best bet. But he’s not even in the squad. Another one who could play there, or anywhere in the centre if necessary is Kevin Nolan (right). Whilst he would obviously get nowhere near the starting XI, he is surely stronger that Carrick, more threatening than Jenas, and more consistent that Richardson.

The third replacement I would have is simply for the sake of it. For fuck’s sake Sven, live a little! Why not give Aaron Lennon a try? Take a chance on a bit of Nigel Reo-Coker action? Leighton Baines or Matt Taylor at left back anyone? Kerrea Gilbert slipped in on the right? Joey Barton in England call up shock? Its not as if they’ll actually play a game this summer!! Whatever happened to the Sven that would call up Chris Powells and Gavin McCanns for a bit of a laugh? But that’s just not the way Sven rolls these days is it. Much more likely to try to defend a one-nil lead against a Zidane-inspired France for 84mins than try out Jimmy Bullard on the left of a three man midfield. Ok, maybe that’s too much, but you get the point.

If you can bear the excitement, full squad list can be found here

Wenger's Special Children

It certainly has been an interesting year for Arsenal. Whilst every gooner worth their salt will tell you this is the calm before the revolutionary storm of the new stadium era yadda yadda it's clear that something a bit weird is going on at Arsenal. Despite the result last night, with Vieira gone and Henry potentially on his way, things seem to have gone a bit rotten.

However, as much as it pains me to say this, any chicken counting is almost certainly premature. I don't like him, but Arsene Wenger is responsible for discovering and resurrecting some of the finest talent we have seen in the Premiership; Henry, Vieira, Ljungberg, Pires, Toure, Petit, Anelka, and co were all plucked from obscurity or the realms of underachievement. Arsenal is certainly going through a transitional period, and the theme is clear…investment in youth. With the old guard getting on, with perhaps only Henry still at his peak, a new wave has emerged.

Despite Wenger’s cleverness, for every Vieira there has been a Francis Jeffers and Stephan Malz (do not overanalyse this- a one in three record of risk-taking is bloody impressive), so in this blog I would like to give my impressions of the current crop, and (probably foolishly) predict who will be the Ljungbergs and who will be the Christopher Wrehs.

Emmanuel Eboue - Strong, looked great last night, but seems a bit dodgy on the ball. Unreliable.

Johan Djourou - A poor man’s Emmanuel Eboue

Senderos- After being promised he was the new Adams, Senderos is slowly but surely showing that he has the right to be mentioned in the same sentence as our favourite ex-alcoholic.

Gael Clichy- Essentially a worse version of Ashley Cole, will always be in his shadow whilst cole remains at Arsenal.

Kerrea Gilbert (left)- From what I’ve seen, looks like an excellent prospect. People seem to agree, but opinions do suffer from the over-exuberance that is inevitable when anyone talks about an English right-back who isn’t Neville.

Vassikirri Abou Diaby- Apparently the new Vieira. Big boots. Chelsea were interested. Very much a wait and see.

Sebastian Larsson- Have only seen him play a few times. Really impressed me in an interview recently. A very mature head on young shoulders, but don’t think he has the quality.


Cesc Fabregas (right)- A little shitbag, but a very talented little shitbag. Fantastic passing ability, but suffers somewhat from small man syndrome (perpetual laryness). The syndrome will make him a better player, but will not make him any bigger. Small central midfielders have to be pretty fucking special to make it in a Premiership midfield. I can’t think of a single example of a lightweight CM who has done well for a big club. Unfortunately Fabregas isn’t even stocky.

Mathieu Flamini- Wnger seems to have a lot of faith in him, seems like a bit of a headless chicken whenever he plays. Has not excelled in any of the various positions he has been played in. Wenger’s apparent faith is the only thing stopping me from saying outright that he’s shit.

Theo Walcott- God knows, but the most hyped player since Rooney, and they weren’t wrong with him.

Robin Van Persie- Yup, yup and more yup. Can see him getting better and better too. A true Wnger coup.

Emmanuel Adeyabour- Can see Wenger having trouble with this one, has a history of being a prat. Has been very hyped both internationally and at club level, and would seemed to have extended his nose up his own arse.


Arturo Lupoli (left)- pinched from the Parma youth academy when pinching from the Parma youth academy was all the rage. Aren’t financial crises great. Wait and see.

The most obvious thing is the shear volume, 13 players under the age of 21 flirting around the first team, and there are 5 others who I have never heard of on the official squad list- Anthony Stokes, Nicklas Bendtner, Matthew Connely, Alexandre Song, and Fabrice Muamba. And Justin Hoyte on loan at Sun’land (but he’s shit).

Conclusion: If Wenger’s past record is anything to go by, at least 5 of these players will turn out to be the business. My 5 are Senderos, Gilbert, Van Persie, and any two from Abou Diaby, Walcott and Lupoli.

A Right Koldrup

Cheers to 'back where we belong' off KUMB for this. Story is a rumour, but seems to make a lot of sense, and is, frankly, hillarious. The tale is of Everton's recent wonder signing Per koldrup...

"Apparently Moyes signed Kroldrup without going to see him himself, took the advice of a European scout working for the club. A £5.1 million bid was lodged and Udinese the Italian club who Kroldrup was playing for couldn't believe their luck and immediately accepted Everton's bid.

Only after the player was signed and all the necessary paperwork had been completed, and the player himself had completed his first training session with his new team mates did Moyes begin to smell a rat.

Moyes was apparently totally unimpressed with what he had seen and it was only then after he made enquiries with the scout that it dawned on him. Everton had signed the WRONG player!!! The player the scout had watched had been Kroldrup's centre-back partner! This was why the Everton bid was immediately successful and they (Udinese) were it has been reported, totally amazed with the size of the bid.

So, Moyes now had a problem, he had a centre-back he knew was not good enough for the Premiership, he also needed to off-load him and get back if possible the club's £5.1 million.

How was he going to do this without losing face with the Everton fans. The first thing he did was report to the press that Kroldrup was injured, he did in fact have a slight injury but not enough to keep him out for 3 months ,which is what happened.

Eventually through pressure from local phone-ins, fan groups and local and national press asking questions about this £5.1 million invisible man, and also because of the club's injury list, Weir was injured etc, he eventually had to play him against Villa at Villa Park.

It was there that David Moyes worst fears were realised, Kroldrup had a stinker, was out of his depth and Moyes knew it. The problem now was that other managers had now seen Kroldrup's non-performance so there was no chance of them getting back their £5.1 million- and he knew it.

It has been recently reported that Florentina have put in a bid for £3.6 million, sources say that is in fact bull, they have offered Everton 1 million Euros- which is approximately £700,000.

An agreement has been reached with Fiorentina to release to the media that the figure is £3.6 million, mainly, to save face at Everton Football Club.

So, there you have it, mismanagement on a grand scale which goes to show how EFC went from being called the Mersey Millionaires in the sixty's to the total shambles which the club is today.

Moyes apparently blames Chief Executive Wyness, he blames the european scout, others within the club blame Chairman Bill Kenwright."