Friday, January 23, 2009

Move along now, nothing to see here

I don't spend much time round here any more, so do pop over to Benji's Blog for a much sexier, multi-Benji experience, or click the links to the left to find me piffling around elsewhere on the web.

By all means have a rummage around this blog, but I'm telling you it's largely waffle. For example, I once predicted that Cesc Fabregas would never make it at Arsenal because he was too small. In the same post I asserted that Arturo Lupoli would be a Premier League sensation. Thanks.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Football and Sex

As you might have deduced from this cunningly rendered image to the left, I have started a new blog, entitled Football and Sex. It is not just about football and sex. It is about football and lots of things- an occasional musing on football and something else. Look out for Football and Race, Football and Iain Duncan Smith, and Football and Jesus. But the first post and the title is Football and Sex because I am shallow and frivolous. ##UPDATE: I AM UPDATING F&S WITH ALARMING IRREGULARITY, BUT WILL GET BETTER, HONEST.##

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Better than me

Hello all. Just popping in to tell you a few things that are better than me.

1) The Gaffer
This is better than me in many ways. It is also run by a superb chap by the name of Thom Gibbs. He is better than me. It is prolific and very funny, including wonders such as Les Reed's tactical masterclasses, and the recent revelation that Alan Curbishley never actually met Hayden Mullins.

2) The Fiver
This is better than me again for many reasons. It is run by the motley footy team, who are funny. It is a bit of an in-joke fest, but that's ok.

3) Jimmy Bullard
Jimmy is better than me at various things. Football, hair, and - crucially - leapfrogging:

Friday, March 28, 2008

Introducing...Benji's Bands

Hello again. As you may have noticed, Benji's Balls has been on an extended slumber, which may or may not be fatal. Let's see.

In the meantime, I've decided to start Benji's Bands, which will infrequently document the gigs that I go and see. Do pop over and peruse my uneducated observations. I can guarantee that it will be slightly more exciting than West Ham's midfield link-up play during the 07-08 season, but not as entertaining as the fact that Robbie Savage has an Armani tattoo.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

They think it's all over...

Well it might well be. Dunno really. As all nine of my regular readers may have noticed, things have been a bit sparse here of late. The amazing truth is that I have been rather (gasp) busy over the last little while, getting paid to write stuff innit. Of all things! So, if I may indulge oneself during this moist-eyed farewell, here were a few of the highlights:

We observed Fergie’s intriguing political dabblings.
We realized that Joey barton is in fact a paradigm of post-Freudian Faginism.
My Balls turned one and I realized that I am more or less a footballing Nostrodamus
We discovered that Steve Maclaren and Gordon Brown are in fact the same person
We watched with sheer joy as Maxi Rodriguez’s ‘flying girl slap’ took the World Cup by storm.

If you’re looking for me, I’ll be writing stuff like “Berlin is really hip, man” in the Grauniad (read my latest pieces here), taking photos of culture and that kind of bizzle here, and doing something or other over at Youngin Europe. If you want to get in touch, follow the email links on the left. No porn spam. Ok, some, but not too much. It’s been emotional.

Monday, July 02, 2007

On Holiday

Greetings from abroad. Just thought I'd let you know that Benji's Balls will be taking a short vacation whilst I am exploring the cultural intricacies of the continent (see pic). If you are in need of some footballing shits and giggles during my sabbatical, dear readers, all seven of you, including me, simply click on the following.

First up, the ever-excellent Mediawatch over at F365 is, well, excellent. And in an intriguing recent development, Colin Murray seems to have nabbed the saturday Grauniad backpage sports column from right under Russell Brand's nose! Ooh the impudence! (As Brand might chirp). Although it pains me to big up a man with probably the greatest CV on the planet (he presents football, baseball, poker, music- recently the BBC's Glasto coverage) Murray is doing a good job. Read the annoyingly likeable bugger's recent columns here, here, and here. And, of course, do keep those eyes peeled for anything Barney Ronay does. Ooh, and keep an eye on silly season here. Right then, I'm off. Peace in the Middlesbrough.

Oh, just before I go, a quick announcement. Benji's Balls is proud to confirm the signing of Juan Roman Riquelme for the start of the 2007/08 season. If Everton can do it, why can't I?

related posts:
Vote Fergie Watch: Week Two
Joey Barton: A Fagin of Our Times (part 2)

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Sunday, June 17, 2007

Henry - The Flash Poll

Will he or won't he? But enough about Ziggy and whether or not he'll nob that northern lass. Guffaw!

It seems the future of The Humble One is in doubt. Either I'm Bill Murray or we did this all last year. But anyway. I decided to poll my Gooner mates on whether or not Arsenal still need Thierry Henry. In doing so, I realised that I have way too many friends who support Arsenal, and will be using this post to let you decide which one should be dispensed of.

So...which gooner should be ceremoniously decide. Many thanks, comments at the bottom please. So boys... take it away. Do Arsenal still need Thierry Henry?

Gooner One: Ian Beth
Yes of course we do. I thought you out of all people would find another footballing subject to talk about during the summer. If he leaves i say thank you very much and good luck with your career. If he does not we have a great footballer playing for us. I think the real question should be if Henry leaves what will fill up time on Skysports News and fill columns in the papers.

Gooner Two: Jimmy H
We need him like a fat boy needs cake. Not so much for the premiership, but for his imput in the Champions League where that extra bit of class and experience is required.

Gooner Three: David Brill
Henry on form - there is no team in the world that wouldn't want / need him in their side.

But the jury is out on whether such form is now a thing of the past. He seems to be struggling with injuries that he never had before. Not to mention this issue of 'burnout' from the world cup, which can be perceived as a bit of a wooly excuse. He's nearly 30 and not getting any younger, and might also be getting a bit big for his boots by speaking out about boardroom issues that shouldn't concern him. Also his refusal to categorically commit his future to the club might just suggest that his heart is no longer in it, in which case we should probably let him go.

That's what people say. Not me though. I say he's probably the best player I've ever seen and if he goes I'll be upset. I'd keep him because, even though he may be less likely to hit that form again, if he does he's unplayable. It's the first season he's had any injuries and the man deserves a bloody break for Christ's sake. He's been a brilliant player for us for years, and it pisses me off that people get on his back after just one off season. And he still scored quite a few goals, including the winner against Man Utd. Chain him to the pitch, I say. Obviously leave him enough slack to run around some.

Do we need him? Yes. We don't score enough goals, so of course we do. And personally, I don't think RVP is the player others think he is. He's very good, but I think he is still some way off being a really consistent goalscorer. Likewise Adebayor. Potential? Yes. Bags of goals? Not yet.

Gooner Four: Chay Bainbridge
Thierry was, and may still be great. But trust in Wenger. IF Wenger sells its because he knows he is past it. Long live Samuel Eto'o!

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