Huge in Huelva

It turns out that any old chaff can bang them in in La Primera 'Miguel Mouse' Liga. Not only is Freddie Kanoute currently top scorer, but improbably-named ex-scouser Florent Sinama-Pongolle has bagged 9 goals in 14 starts for Recreativo de Huelva.

Further evidence that La Liga really isn't that good. In other news, turns out Bolton really will buy any old shit.

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Who?!
Take That Primera Liga

Keepy Uppies, Junta Style

Once again proving the age-old-addage that 'anything Ronaldinho can do the Burmese can do better'



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To Me, To You

Footy, travel,etc.

A quick tip of the hat to the Different Directions, another blog i regularly contribute to; the loudmouth brother of Youngin Europe. Which is a young person's guide to Europe (the clue's in the name you see)

The latest post is on 'The International Language of Football'. Have a butchers, i implore thee.




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Don't Patronise me - I'm Russian or Brazillian (or possibly Dutch or Scottish)
In Defence of Catania

Ronaldo: An Apology

In a post-World Cup blog last summer, trying to find some positives in amongst the cacophony of English woe, I made the following comment:

"Hopefully we have seen the last of Chriatiano Ronaldo in the premiership. He is an absolutely brilliant player, but you'd have to be better than Ronaldinho to make up for the sheer amnmount of twattishness he has demonstrated."

Well, it turns out he is better than Ronaldinho. At the moment at least. At the time it seemed as if Ronaldo was packing his bags and nipping off to the Primera Liga, side-stepping an imminent lynching in England. I remeber thinking; if Ronaldo was a real man he would come bag to England, have the season of his life, and win United the league. Which is exactly what he has done. ***Benji tips his hat***

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Nippy Footwork
Always look on the bright side...

Why?

Why why and more why do the BBC allow Graham Taylor to speak publicly? Why? He is pure shite. Really. I mean really. Come on beeb. Sort it out. Fair enough keeping Motty on, institution and all that, but Taylor has never said anything interesting, ever. And letting him talk about England? Well that's just rubbing the salt in. (see England's brilliant performance at USA 94).

In other news, England play Israel today, which is interesting of course because Israel can be a bit doolaly, politically speaking. And there are lots of Jewish England fans, which is slightly tricky. I am one, and for the record I am hoping for a 4-3 England victory, Yossi with three. Read a slightly interesting, but not very interesting article about the conundrum here.


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Oh Would You Just...

Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait

Just watched Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait, an intriguing film/art installation that tracks Zidedine Zidane throughout almost the entirety of a Real Madrid game Vs Villareal at the Bernabeu in 2005.

First up, this is not a documentary…it is a collage of 17 different playercams, shot in film rather than digi. This in itself is novel…watching football shot using the same cameras, filters and techniques used in a feature film is wierd, in a good way.

It goes on. After the first five minutes you are wondering if they are really gonna keep this up for than entire 90 minutes. They do (well almost- see below). Occasional subtitles from an interview with Zizou pop up, but only every now and then. A Mogwai soundtrack dips in and out. A lot of people will fast forward. I didn’t. But I am a football geek..this was a bit like porn. Hear me out.

***pretention warning***
Beyond the frequent examples of Zidane’s succulent touch, this is an insight into an enigma. My mum is a psychotherapist, and once told me that Zidane’s eyes were troubled eyes. It takes an hour for Zidane to smile in this game (after a brief jape with Roberto Carlos). Then like a baby with a hit of smile-induced serotonin it sticks for a while. It’s relief- for the vast majority of the game Zidane is a study (a portrait) of deep, deep intensity…powerfully devoid of emotion. Screaming silence, if you will.

Then the rub. Zidane is sent off. A brief flash of anger preceding…a brief flash of despair after. And that’s it. As with the entire enigma surrounding him, it asks a thousand questions…which remain unanswered. Is he an angry man? Is he happy? Where does the mist come from? Is it inherent of his genius? A documentary would have answered. The best thing about this is that it doesn’t. The enigma remains. As the subject of a grey area project teetering on the boundaries of art, film, character study, psychological profile, hagiography…Zidane is the perfect muse.

Is it a good film? Probably not. Is it a good piece of art? Well it left me thinking a lot of things…which probably means yes. At the very least, props to the directors for even doing this. It’s always nice when the highly browed of this world realise that this is more than just a game.

(first person to say, circa school playground, “well why don’t you just shag him then?” wins a prize)

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Zidane's Mozart Moment
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Joey Barton: A Fagin of our Times

Ah Joey Barton. One day a local boy done good, next day a genetically-doomed hooligan. I, for some reason, like him, but am occasionally reminded that maybe I shouldn't.

Is he your mate? Is he about to cave your face in? You decide:


The Case Against
- Arrested last night for assaulting a cabbie.

- Swears at fans.

- Scrapping with Everton fans in Thailand, after whcih he bit Richard Dunne. As you do.

- Stubbed out a cigar in a City trainee's eye. (well they've got to learn somehow)

The Case For
- Gets stick every week for his lunatic brother's imprisonment for killing a guy with an axe (in a racially motivated attack- nasty) and yet has continually improved as a player over the last year, recently breaking into the England squad.

- Quite rightly accused the England players of cashing in on a decidedly shit World Cup Campaign by releasing 'my meaningless life so far..' books.

- Called Lampard fat at his first England training session.

- Moonied Everton fans a few months back, prompting superb 'Police probe Barton's Bottom' headlines. Pic above for the ladies.

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Always look on the bright side...

Nippy Footwork

This is why substitutes spend most of the game warming up, even if they don't get on: You never know how many Inter players you're gonna have to dodge after you've broken their mate's nose. So graceful as he runs....Christiano Ronaldo would be proud....

(Benji's Balls does not condone violence. It does, however, reserve the right to laugh at it.) -wait for the replay

A Pair of Idiots

In the post a few weeks ago, i received a letter fromVirgin Media announcing that they were replacing NTL Telewest in my area. It was worded nicely; somewhat of an informal introduction (great business), and I was quite happy that this was happening- I've always liked old Dickie Branson...seemed like a bit of a rebel and all that (am I a sucker?)

Anyhoo. Some weeks later and I have been deprived of Sky Sports News, which is something like bread for me, and now both Sky and Virgin are blaming the other side, pulling eachother's hair, and totally and utterly forgetting about the consumer. If you are interested, the whole thing has been a rather fascinating unholy row. Read Branson's argument here, and James Murdoch's here.

I however, am no longer interested. I am pissed off. Sky are twats for rising their prices, Virgin are twats for not paying it. If anything, I am more pissed off at Virgin, even though I appreciate they are being screwed. Note to Branson: before you came along I was happily watching Georgie Thompson and whoever was sitting beside her. Now I am not. You do the maths. Oh, and saying...

"The Virgin Central [video on demand] channel is a great channel, it has brilliant programming already . . . we are going to really push that channel and put any money that we will save from this into getting fantastic programming for that."

...is laughable. Anyone who describes their own product as 'fantastic' knows that it isn't. I want my 24-hour Sports News back.

I am currently reviewing alternative entertainment options.