Wayne Who?

Fear not my fellow patriots. After four hours of uncontrollable sobbing, i managed to come up with the solution to an England team without Rooney. Actually it was me, my mates Chris, Ali, DC, some White Ace and a guy called Fosters, but I'll take the credit thanks. Here is an artist's impression:


As you can see, the formation is a complete copy of the Chelsea formation, with Cole and SWP/lennon acting as support strikers from the wings. To some extent this formation favours the choice of Crouchy boy, as the striker would be needed to hold up the ball for the midfield to drive forward and score. Gerrard would have to be a bit more defensive-minded, but this was always going to be the case. Beckham can operate from a more central area, pinging the balls to the wings or Crouch. It all works my friends.

Yes, that sound you can hear is of a chorus of sopranos cooing ahhhhhhhhh, in revalatory style.

Only problem, adopting this formation would be the most radical thing Sven has done since he decided to shag Faria Alam in the FA cupboard, and the cances of him doing it are slim to none. Scolari would have done it, but don't get me started. As you were. (Benji picks up his metatarsal ray and heads off to Brazil)