Monday, February 26, 2007

Friday, February 23, 2007

Fat Ron, Fat Ron, and the curse of the Galactico


So all the papers seem to be teasing poor old Ronald 'Pilsbury Dough Boy' Inho for the healthy little paunch he's developed around his mid-section.

Well my friends, although i've touched on this before, this is the predictable case of the 'curse of the Galactico'. In brief:

"Once a player has won blooming everything, he'll inevitably decline in form, and perhaps fitness, as there isn't really much for him to fight for any more. Know what I mean?" Benji Lanyado 2006

You see, good old Fat Ron has won it all: Lots of Leagues, The Chumps League, World Player of the Year etc... And rather like the Fat Ron before him (Ronaldo- except he never won the Chumps, but won the WC virtually single-handedly in 2002) quite understandably he isn't as arsed as he used to be.

Well I say fair play to the little fatso, put your feet up mate...maybe he could put them up on all the history books his name will be indellibly inscribed in forever more, regardless of what he does for the rest of his career. Make his a large.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Future of Light Entertainment

Yes my football-afflicted friends...behold the future. Actually this is slightly plagiarised from an 8 Brook Rd, Manchester prototype, but now is the time to tell the world. We've all been there...two matches on at the same time...?!!! Woe!

Fear not. Simply uses two TVs,one hooked up to the Digi skart, one to a normal aerial. Voila: multi-screen Champions League Tuesday. Thus I was able to see Lille make absolute tits out of themselves, and see Arsenal lose ....at the same time (if your mother only knew...boomedeboom)

You're welcome.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Random Relegation



Here's a quick one for any of you who are feeling the depressing pinch of imminent relegation. We're not alone. In fact, a brief glance across the European leagues reveals a veritable rash of imminent random relegation.



Germany: Hamburg
Finished 3rd last year, now sitting second from bottom

France: Nantes Atlantique
Won the league in 2001, also now second bottom

Spain: Real Sociedad
Finished 2nd in 2003, now second bottom too.

Italy: Parma
Won UEFA Cup in 99, finished 2nd in 97, now...second bottom

And then of course there's always Leeds...who seem to be on the verge of fucking it in spectacular fashion...Chumps League semis in 2001...now bottom of the Championship.

So my fellow Irons, every cloud eh? I'm off to drink White Ace on a street corner...but in a positive way.

Friday, February 09, 2007

McClaren & Brown in 'Same Person' Shock!!!


McClaren:
"Chortle. You know what's great...? I'll tell you. This totally un-creepy media smile i've developed is completely covering up the fact that i'm shitting it. Thank God for all that media training from Max"






Brown:
"Titter. Wow! This totaly un-creepy media smile i've nailed in the last few years is totally covering up the fact that i'm shitting it. Thank God for all that media training from Pete and Ali"





Anyone? Anyone?

Monday, February 05, 2007

In Defence of Catania...

Italy's collective responsibilty thang when it comes to dealing with their frequent footballing skulduggery does my head in. The whole league was delayed for a few weeks at the beginning of the season so that Juventus and the others could be punished for match-fixing, meaning everyone had to deal with the fixture congestion and lack of projected revenue because of what had gone on at only four of the league's clubs. And then they let Fiorentina and Milan off anyway.

A bunch of pricks kill a policeman in Catania, suddenly both clubs (Palermo is the other one) are the devil's football teams, and the whole league is abandoned again. Because of a bunch of pricks.

For the record, Catania is a really nice city. If you're arsed, here's a writeup i did. I also had a thoroghly lovely footballing experience there, described here. This is the man i went to the game with, who was a lovely chap:


..and here's the fans being excited, which is nice too (click to enlarge):

A bunch of thugs do not define an island, or even it's football teams, just like a bunch of currupt businessmen do not describe the whole league. Why not hit the perpetrators hard, and let the rest get on with it eh? Maybe it's a bit of karma that Italy won the World Cup.

--------------------------------
in other news...Ashley Cole and Wayne Bridge are injured, and somehow Steve Maclaren decides not to call up Matt Taylor, and will probably play Gareth Barry at left back, despite the fact that Gareth Barry has been playing in midfield for the last few years. Maybe this is because Matt Taylor is gay, a generally acknowleged truth, and Steve Maclaren is a backward homophobe; another generally acknowleged truth. Ooh, get me.