Shameless

For anyone who cares...I'm starting a weekly page in the Guardian travel section as of this saturday, so be sure to get your copy!!! lol!!! (oh god)

Or just click on the link on the left from time to time you poxy cheapskates.

Trouble in Palermo

All kicking off in Sicily apparently. About an hour ago 'Billaricay Hammer' posted this on KUMB, West Ham's largest forum:

"Just had a phone call from a mate who is out there, who has just told me that in the last 20 minutes it's all kicked off big time in the city centre. Apparently bottles are flying all over the place and a load of are lot have been nicked already. I could hear the old bill sirens in the back ground as I was talking to him."

Oh dear, we'll be reading about this tomorrow. Apparently hundreds of West Ham fans turned up in the city without a ticket. God knows what they were thinking, it's not as if they're going to Italy's capital of organised crime or anything.

My bet is that thug Elijah Wood and his Green Street hoodlums are behind this. Just look at him (above). Makes you shudder.

Undercover: Football's Dirty Secrets

Who would have thought...?! The two managers who seem to buy a couple of Billy Africas a season- Sam Allardyce and Hary Redknapp- are bent as a circle. So, my reflections on Undercover: Football's Dirty Secrets:

1) Could have gone a lot further- the BBC legal department might as well have co-produced this one. A lot of blanked out names and clubs. One must guess the evidence wasn't as strong for others as it was for Pompey and Bolton.

2) Big Sam seems fucked, surely? Then again, was he just keeping his delinquent son (Craig) close rather than letting him run wild?

3) Will the evidence against Big Sam and Harry stand up?

4) Chelsea seem to have broken the rules on taping up players again...three points anyone?

5) Was the whole programme entrapment?

As you can see, more questions than answers. Wait for the media storm on this one. Turns out the whole transfer system is dodgy, who would have thought? I'm off to slip someone a tenner...

Roeder Catches the Toure Bug?!

Listening to an interview with Glenn Roeder tonight on Sky Sports i couldn't help noticing something frankly quite wonderful. I saw a similar interview on Match of the Day and heard one on 5 Live too. He did the same thing in all three...

Roeder was using the third person!!!!



"Glenn Roeder has never been involved in causing any trouble, I'm not an excitable person - in fact some people have accused me of not being excited enough or emotional....

You'll all decide how much you want to make of all this but I know it was completely unintentional because Glenn Roeder hasn't got a reputation for doing things like that which would incite a crowd."
Glenn Roeder, 2006

Simply marvellous. Haven't heard such prolific third personing since Kolo Toure was inteviewed as an emerging youngster in 2002:

"Kolo came on, and Kolo wants to prove he is a good player and Kolo was very happy to score..."
Kolo Toure, 2002

Long may the use of the third person continue.

The New Maradona

In a bit of a wierd one, Juan Roman Riquelme retired from international football on wednesday, at the tender age of 28. And thus it came to pass that another 'New Maradona' was not. So, I thought it would be a good idea to check up on what is going on with all the other 'New Maradonas', as there have been a few.

Ariel Ortega -now 32
The original and laryest 'New Maradona', who actually played alongside the old one at World Cup 94. Moved to Valencia in 96, but was too much of a small angry man to stay at any club for too long (6 clubs in 10 years). Headbutted Edwin van der Saar in the World Cup 98 quarter (right), got sent off, Argies lost. Cancelled his own contract at Fenerbhace in 2003 and was banned from playing footy for a year and a half. Now back in Argentina.

Marcelo Gallardo -now 30
Formed a pretty mean partnership in midfield with Ludo Guily for a couple of years at Monaco during which they shat on the league and he picked up the French League Footballer of the Year, but then Boumsong's probably got a few of those. Fell out with Didier Deschamps and left the club the season before they somehow ended up in the Champions League final. Now back in Argentina playing with Ortega at River Plate.

Juan Roman Riquelme -now 28
Got fucked over at Barca where they played him on the wings, but eventually found his feet at Villareal and was almost single-handedly reponsible for their jaunt to the Chumps League semis last year- in which he bottled penalty in the last minute. Looked great at the world cup but was substituted in the quarter-finals against Germany which Argentina subsequently lost. Has only an Inter-Toto cup medal to his name outside of South America.


Pablo Aimar -now 27, left
Signed by Valencia in 2001 for £16m, and was a large part of their Primera Liga victories in 2002 and 2004. Has since lost his place in the Argentinia squad, contracted viral meningitis for a few months, and was recently sold to Real Zaragoza, a noticeable step down, for a bargain £6.5m.

Javier Saviola -now 25
Possibly the greatest Championship Manager player of all time, Saviola made the switch to Barca in 2001 but never quite seemed to fit in. Was loaned out to Monaco and Sevilla where last year he won the UEFA Cup. Was a surprise starter in Jose Pekerman's Argentina team during this summers World Cup, vindicating his selection with a goal and a few assists. Has gone back to Barca to prove his worth (unlikely to play much, likely to get paid loads. hmmm).

Andres D'Alessandro -now 24
Got famous in the same youth team as Saviola, and is one of three players who have actually been recognised as the new him by Maradona himself (along with Messi and Saviola). Despite being widely touted, ended up moving to German nobodies Wolfsburg where he was nothing special for a couple of seasons. Even more bizzarely, he turned up at Portsmouth last year to play a few games for Dirt 'Arry, and scored one blinder against Charlton. Now on loan at Zaragoza with fellow ex-new Maradona Aimar. Has never, to my knowledge, even played for the Argentinian national team.

So... as you can see the general trend seems to be that the 'New Maradonas' generally aren't, and are in fact a bit dissappointing. Carlitos Tevez (22)and Lionel Messi (19) be afraid.

The Greatest Sportsman Ever...

...was not Thomas Brolin. In Fact it was this man.

And I'm Spent

Good God. Permanent deals. Mascherano has asked to wear number 6 because of Bobby Moore. About an hour ago we were linked to Cicinho. I can't stop giggling.

Around 6pm Kia Joorbachian gave an illuminating interview on 5 Live Sport. Here's what i can remember (i'll post a link when it goes up on listen again):

- Having attempted to buy the club last year Kia (pictured) stayed in touch with Paul Aldridge (Chief Exec) and Terry Brown, remaining "close friends".

- Kia is no longer trying to buy the club.

- The deal is "complicated" (!). He compared it to the Rooney deal.

- They turned down offers from a host of European clubs.

- He mentioned, a few times, that the deal was intentioned to show that the Premiership is not a foregone conclusion; a one-team league

- Tevez and Mascherano were happy to join West Ham, as they both relished a challenge.

- He categorically denied that any of the money behind MSI was from Abramovic.

- He refused to discuss the intracacies of the deal, but iterated that the deals are permanent.

There was a lot more, but i can't really remember i've been in shock all day. Call me a mug, but the guy sounded pretty sincere. To be honest i couldn't give seven shades of shit. We've got Tevez and Mascherano. TEVEZ AND MASCHERANO!

I'm off. Most humerous story of the day here