AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

Whoa sweet child of mine. West Ham to sign Javier Mascherano and Carlos Tevez. Fuck me. Its currently 1.55pm and i'm in a bit of a tizzy. First some basics:

Carlos Tevez is owned by MSI, a sports investment company run by Iranian Kia Jorbachian. MSI took control of Corinthians last year, and as a present brought Tevez along as part of the deal. Around the same time, MSI tried to buy West Ham, but having been quoted an overinflated price pulled out of the deal.

Rumours have abounded for some time that the money behind MSI is coming from a certain Russian you might have heard of...Roman Abramovich. When Corinthians brokered a deal for Brazilian Carlos Alberto last year, Kia Jorbachian and agent Pinhas Zahavi split the rights for a future deal. Zahavi aslo brokered the deal purchasing Chelsea for Abramovic. In any case Zahavi, Abramovic and Jorbachian are all mates. ***side point; Corinthians just sorted out Adidas and Samsung as sponsers...remind you of anyone?*** see this

Here are the possibilities:

1) Having touted the pair around for a few weeks- an MSI delegation has been in the country for a while- they coldn't convince Manure Arse or Chelsea to cough up the cash, so have opted to send them on loan in the Premiership to wave them infront of prospective buyers' eyes for another year.

2) Kia Jorbachian is set to launch another takeover bid for West Ham, and has given us Mascherano and Tevez as a sweetener. A very sweet one indeed.

3) Chelsea have agreed a deal in principle to buy the pair, but did not want to cough up £40m straight up for two players who could prove to be flops outside of of South America. So, they have been sent on loan to West Ham for them to cut their teeth. NB the Abramovich link.

4) This is a horrible hoax by Spurs fans still pissed off that we stopped them from getting into the Champions League last year.

I'll blog again at the end of the day. Assuming i'm still in control of my bodily functions.

PS
For the record, Steed Malbranque and Pascal Chimbonda are a pair of troublemaking twats, Spurs are welcome to them.

Ashley Gunned Down

Sorry been a bit rubbish recently. Luckily, however, Jonny has once again come to the rescue with some good stuff...over to you mr blatt... (cheers)

"Now before I get into my rant, may I just state that like all Gooners, I absolutely loved Ashley Cole. 'Local boy done good' is not a story you get very often these days in the Prem, especially at Arsenal. But it was more than that. At the age of 25, Ashley is arguably the best left back in Europe (and seeing how insular we are as a footballing continent, probably the best in the world).

None of this of course is news to you. And in fact, the Chelsea tapping-up affair was so well publicised that you know about that too. What may be unclear is that, after being fined £70,000 for his role in the matter, Ashley (influenced heavily by his agent) decided to take Arsenal to the European Court of Arbitration, claiming that not being allowed to talk to Mourinho was against his human rights.

Over this matter, he fell out, acrimoniously I might add, with the Arsenal board, and particularly with David Dein. This mainly happened about a year ago, and Cole, ironically spent the largest chunk of last season on the sidelines. M. Wenger did however pick Cole in his starting line-up for the Champs League Final, the biggest game of his career, to the detriment of Mathieu Flamini who had played the entire campaign and been part of the tightest defence in the history of the Champs Lge. Testament to Cole's ability? Yes. Wenger showing remakable faith in a player who had flirted with his no.1 competitor? Also yes.

Skip to this summer, and suddenly the saga has turned into what can only described as a demonstrative footballing power struggle. Cole is merely a pawn in this, because lets be honest, no-one wants him at Arsenal. Chelsea not only want to get a quality player (which Cole undoubtedly is), but they want to get one over on their London rivals. So they are only offering under Cole's true value. (If Essien, Drogba, Shauny Wright etc all cost 21-25m, then how is Ashley worth £16.5m, their max offer?)... Arsenal are playing hardball, and so are Chelsea. Wenger makes a cheeky £5m bid for Gallas, just to show he's not fucking about. Chelsea then say 'you can have him for Cole, no cash'... Essentially this hideously tedious saga, is boring everyone and the sooner Ash is out the better.

The straw that broke the camel's back for me was Cole's statement last week saying he was available for selection... well thanks very fucking much, £55k a week and he has the cheek to make himself available! Unreal!I'm not gonna get started on the whole autobiography thing, because I think they're ruining football and increasing player power to a detrimental amount.Anyway, sod off Ash... You don't deserve to wear red and white again! You deserve Chelsea."

Chelsea's Children

For the last couple of hours I have been bored. So, naturally, I found myself browsing through the Danish Under-19 squad. I noticed something interesting. I browsed a little more. Sitting comfortably?

Over the last two years, Chelsea have signed 18 players under the age of 18 on freebies or with nominal tribunal fees. Ken Bates recently kicked up a fuss about the pinching of Tom Taiwo and Michael Woods from Leeds. Other English clubs have suffered the same fate. Ryan Bertrand has signed from Gillingham, Scott Sinclair (who is a shit hot striker) from Bristol Rovers, Harry Worley from Stockport and James Russell from Arsenal (chelseafc.com apply the schadenfreude…Russell is described as having “sensibly switched to Chelsea”). For good measure they also picked up Sam Hurrell, who won that rubbish Football Idol programme.

Danish youngsters Per Weihrauch and Morten Nielson (the genesis of my search) signed from Ajax and KB respectively, and were joined recently by Scandinavian mate Tomi Saarelma from FC Lahti in Finland. Keen to offset their Scandinavian gang with an Iberian one, Chelsea picked up Fabio Ferreira and Ricardo Fernandes from Sporting Lisbon, Ricardo Semedo from Guimares and Sergio Tejera from Espanyol.

Keen to represent every nation in the Eurovision Song Contest, Chelsea have also added to their squad Jonas Elmer from Grasshoppers Zurich, Miroslav Stoch from Slovakian club Nitra and Connor Clifford from Irish side Crumlin.

Perhaps the most alarming thing is the epithets attached to many of these kids…’wonder kid’, ‘rising star’, ‘prodigy’…etc. Oh, and be sure to watch out for young recruit Lewis Bakes (9) signed from Luton, and the possible arrival of young Australian Panos Armenakas. Aged 7. God help us all.

CARDIFF CITY CAUGHT IN 'SIGN EVERYONE' ROMP!!!

It begins. Whilst things have been a little quiet on the Premiership transfer front, the Championship has been in overdrive. Here’s a brief roundup…

Birmingham City- Having hilariously made £12.2m for Jermaine Pennant and Heskey (£5.5m for Heskey- I mean really…) the Blues have made some decent signings. Sebastian Larsson, Nicklas Bendtner and Fabrice Muamba have come in on loan from Arsenal and will be keen to show they’re more Patrick Vieira than Stephan Malz. Rahdi Jaidi (right) is a beast, and pretty good at football too (I’m surprised Bolton let him go), Stephen Kelly is a young Ireland international and suffered from Spurs’ policy of maintaining a steady squad level of 254, and Cameron Jerome is a proven Championship goalscorer.

Cardiff City- have made a remarkable 12 signings so far, including Kerrea Gilbert on loan from Arsenal (first person to say ‘young English talent forced out of Arsenal by foreign imports’ wins a prize). Willo Flood and Michael Chopra almost mad it in the Prem but didn’t, Stephen McPhail was good on Championship Manager 01-02, and highly rated Malvin Kamara has been drafted in from MK Dons.

Coventry City- Have made, I believe, the two shrewdest signings of the lot. Elliot Ward seems expensive at £1m but was as good if not better that Anton Ferdinand in the season West Ham got promoted, and only lost his place to the unexpectedly impressive Danny Gabbidon. Chris Birchall (left) was the white guy who played for Trinidad and Tobago in the World Cup- good, combative midfielder.

Southampton- Rudi Skacel is the reason Hearts are anywhere near the Champions League, Gregorz Rasiak was a top drawer Championship striker until he joined Spurs’ small army, and Bradley Wright-Phillips is from good stock (and scored a cracker on his debut yersterday).

Elsewhere, Carl Fletcher is an excellent signing for Peter Taylor at Crystal Palace (was in fact my favourite player at West Ham), decent 20-year old Sylvan Ebanks-Blake has move from Man Utd to Plymouth, Sheffield Wednesday have got Bradley Jones on load from Boro, Dean Marney (the bloke who scored two screamers for Spurs against Everton last year then barely played again) has gone to Hull, and Michael Rickets will be an excellent signing for Southend (only joking).

Full Championship ins/outs here.

Benjammar's Balls

If you haven't already done this, you really should. link

Regards,
Benjammar

(Benji does a couple of stepovers, balances the ball on his nose, flosses the gap inbetween his front two teeth and shags Shakira. OoooohAriaaaaa...)

And McBride Headbutts it into the Scorebag!!!!

This is brilliant. Bill Simmons is a famous sports writer in the US for ESPN, who recently decided, on the back of World Cup hysteria, to support an EPL(!) team. To his credit he put a hell of a lot of thought into it, and recently produced a 6,000 word column explaining his decision. Despite the rampant Americanisms (see below) his article is a fascinating look at the Premiership from the perspective of someone who knows nothing about it, producing some truly brilliant moments. Before you read it, here's some excerpts:

- on why not to support Fulham: "one of their celebrity fans is Hugh Grant. And they're owned by Mohamed Al Fayed, the Harrods owner whose son was in the limo with Princess Di. Too many bad vibes"

- on Abramovich: "You couldn't invent a guy like this: Russian oligarch who dumps money into players, hitting the bid on exorbitant transfer fees to stock his squad with so much talent while showing no regard for the bottom line"

- on Arsenal's kit: "Bright red shirts with white sleeves and white shorts. Classic look."

- on Man City's kit: "Baby blue, a shade lighter than the UNC Tar Heels. Probably the sweetest jerseys in the EPL. I can't emphasize this strongly enough -- these things are SPECTACULAR."

- reasons to support Man City: "One of their goal scorers is named Paul Dickov (pronounced "dick-off")"

- Reasons to support Newcastle: "They're named after a beer I actually like."

- Liverpool as a vacation destination?: "Only if you've been kidnapped"

- Tottenham's nickname: "The Spurs. This is important: You either call then "Tottenham Hotspur" or you call them "the Spurs," but no other option is acceptable."

-Why to support Spurs: "If London was the Corleone family, Manchester United was Sonny and Arsenal was Michael, then the Spurs would be Fredo with a little more street smarts … and They have a Kafka-reading, gigantic Dutchman of a coach named Martin Jol who (A) has brothers named "Cock" and "Dick" (I'm not making this up), and (B) apparently talks just like Goldmember (in the third Austin Powers movie). Now there's someone who needs to be in my life."

And who did he pick? You'll just have to read it to find out. Despite all the funny stuff this really is a good read. Over to you in the studio, Bob...

Spot the Difference

Chelsea re Bosnich 2003:
"Chelsea Football Club can confirm that notice has been served on goalkeeper Mark Bosnich that his contract is being terminated under the terms of the FA Premier League. We will be saying nothing else on the matter"


Chelsea re Mutu 2004:
"We want to make clear that Chelsea has a zero tolerance policy towards drugs. This applies to both performance enhancing drugs or so-called ‘recreational’ drugs. They have no place at our club or in sport. Chelsea has terminated the contract of Adrian Mutu for gross misconduct."

Alan Pardew re Newton 2006:
"First of all, I would like to express my disappointment and sadness at the situation Shaun Newton finds himself in. He knows that he has let down his family, the Club, and of course, himself.

However, I can say now that, as a football club, we will stand by Shaun throughout this difficult time. West Ham United has always had a reputation as a family club and our belief here is that, when a member of your family is in trouble, you look after them.

Although we will continue to help and support Shaun through this difficult time, we are also acutely aware of our responsibilities as a Club, and he will face internal disciplinary action when all of the information surrounding his situation is clarified. However, I have seen at first hand the emotional and personal hell that Shaun Newton has been through in recent weeks, and our priority must be to help him - not abandon him. I hope his experience serves as a lesson to any sportsperson."

Who's the Scapegoat?

Very odd goings on at Villa. First the players are alleged to have invited a reporter to training to release a statement against Doug Ellis, that can be found here at the bottom of the page. Interviewed today, Lee Hendrie said he had never seen the statement. Sky Sports is indicating that Thomas Sorensen (always thought he was the revolutionary type) was one of the instigators. As I write David O'Leary is being questioned by the club, the suggestion being that if he is found to have been behind the statement he's out the door. How ridiculous.

Fact is, Villa fans want them both out. And they both know this- see here and here. What i expect is happening here is that both are trying to win favour by booting the other out the door. O'Leary might well have orchestrated the revolt, albeit pretty badly, to make Ellis' position untenable, therefore seeming the hero whilst getting Ellis out before he sacked him. Ellis can now sack O'Leary, which would certainly be a popular decision, diverting attention away from the fact that no-one likes him either. Get it? Both want to be responible for the others demise, diverting the fans from the fact that they are shit.

However hillarious it is to see Villa be repeatedly mediocre, do us a favour and both piss off.

Roeder's Lucky 7

Ah, Glen Roeder. My favourite person. What a lovely guy, eh? A player's manager. Give him a cuddle. Did marvellously to turn around Newcastle's season last season. Finished 7th didn't they? Oh shit.

Glen Roeder's mangerial history...

Gillingham
1992/93: Relegated (Div. 3)

Watford
1994/95: 7th (Div. 1)
1995/96: Relegated

West Ham
2001/2002: 7th (Prem.)
2002/2003: Relegated

Newcastle
2005/2006: 7th
2006/2007: ?

When Glen Roeder finishes 7th, he tends to get relegated the next season. As I write, Newcastle are struggling to hold SK Lillestrom to a draw in the first round of the Inter-Twobob Cup, have so far signed no-one this summer, Shearer has retired, and Owen's knee is fucked. They have also been linked to signing Juan Pablo Angel. Not looking good. Surely not?

Benji's Balls World Cup 2006 Awards

The 'Turn-up For the Books' XI
Players who played well wot you wouldn't have expected to innit.


















WAG of the Tournament
Raica Oliveira (Ronaldo's Missus)


David Ginola 'Because I'm Worth It' Award
Mauro Camoranesi


Ron Atkinson Rubbish Commentary Award
"Its Cannavaro, and its can you believe it!!!"
John "still calls Germany West Germany" Motson


Milan Baros 'I've Just Tripled My Asking Price' Award
Frank Ribery link


Funniest Moment
Maxi Rodriguez' flying girl slap:

Zidane's Mozart Moment

How incredibly sad. Concratulations to Italy, who deserved it (see below), but unfortunately i will remember tonight for the wrong reason. The greatest player i have ever seen play tonight ended his carrer in front of billions, in inexplicable disgrace. A poisonous ending to a magical career.

It is one of life's great ironies that thin lines divide the bounds between genius and madness, and tonight Zidane demonstrated the disasterous deviation from one to the other. As with out very own Wayne Rooney, Zidane has always had it in him to loose it (remember that stamp on the Suadi player in 1998?), and such it seems are the tragic by-products of brilliance.

But does everyone remeber Mozart for shitting on his girlfriends chest? Or Churchill for being a virulant racist? Exactly. Lets not remember Zidane for his headbutt. Talk about it for a bit by all means, but don't lose context. Instead lets remember him for this...

The Maths of it All...

Have noticed that opinion is split over who to support tonight, so have devised a simple points system to work this one out. Sitting comfortably...

France
Fabien Barthez is a knob, and shouldn't be in the team as Cupet is better -4 points

Zinedine Zidane is truly God-like, and winning the World Cup twice would confirm his place alongside Pele and Maradona as one of the greatest players ever. +17 points

Abidal and Malouda are average, its always a shame for these types of player to be in a World Cup winning team (circa Guivarc'h) -7 points

Thierry Henry is one of the greats of the modern game, and did not play in the 1998 final, so desrves his bit of history +14 points

Thierry Henry is an arrogant git, a bad loser and has thrown himself around like a big girl this tournament -14 points

Domenech dropped Trezuguet in favour of allowing Ribery to be an extra attacker from midfield, just about making up for not taking Guily +4 points

Barthez, Thuram, Vieira, Zidane and Henry have already acheived enough, share the love boys... -10 points

Cluade Makalele played little part in World Cup 98 or Euro 2000, and is one of the finest if not the best defensive midfielders in the World, deserves to win something +12 points

total..... 12 Points

Italy
Their domestic game is a disgrace, and the fans of Juve, Lazio, AC Fiorentina might be about to see thier teams relegated because of the corruption of the arseholes running their clubs. Definitely need something to cheer about +15 points

Mauro Camoranesi really does have beautiful hair +4 points

They are an annoying team who winge and cheat. Beat Ghana 2-0 whn it should have been a draw. -11 points

Buffon, Cannavarro, Zambrotta, Pirlo and Gattuso are truly world class players who deserve to have won major international honours in their career. Del Piero was a world class player a few years back too, so deserves something as well. +12 points

De Rossi's elbow -4 points

When the Italians score a goal thay all try to celebrate like Tardelli in '82, which is really cool. Much better than Thierry Henry's pompous eyebrow twitch. +7 points

Francesco Totti is overrated. -8 points

total... 15 points

So there you have it. Support Italy. I'm off to eat some pizza whilst being financially suspect.....

Yes Sir, I Bite my Thumb at You!!

In response to my last blog i would like to respond to a few comments that got my goat.

1)"last World Cup Nicky Butt was considered by many as our best player in a holding midfield role akin to Hargreaves'" Nicky Butt never put in a performance for England like Hargreaves did vs Portugal.

2)"Pretty sure you were like the majority of the population and a Hargreaves doubter on more than one occasion". In fact before the WC i was in favour of Carragher in the holding role, and yes, i didn't give Hargreaves the time of day. link.

3)"I honestly think it is easier to have a good game in this position than any other position, or that people in this country are just amazed at all the short range passes they are required to make. You just have to sit back and not be too daring, cover the full backs and English people like the unsung hero, someone behind the scenes who, in the glitzy English midfield, takes a back seat, says 'Go on then Stevie, have a run, i've got it covered'." The defensive midfield position is 'easy', well thats just poopoo. Roy Keane, Edgar Davids of old, Makalele, Mascherano, Gattuso, Vieira, were/are all arguably the most important players on their team. If England are to play any three/four or Gerrard, Lampard, Joey Cole or Lennon, the the defensive midfielder will be the most important position in the team. The fact that Hargreaves did more in one game than Carrick and Carragher did in their two put together shows the difference between playing well and playing badly in that position.

4) "I think McClaren would be a fool to drop Beckham straight away, he assisted or scored three of our five goals at the World Cup, the phrase 'kneejerk' comes to mind when daring to think of Lennon"Unfortunately by relinquishing the armband Becks did not do enough. Yes he got some assists and a goal, but like Shearer before him, his syle is that in which the team is sculpted, and has been one of the major factors inhibiting England over the last few years. Who wants to be pinging 40 yard balls to little Wayne and Owen, regardless of how inch perfect they are. Beckham is dead, long live Aaron Lennon (or SWP if he gets better)

5)"I'd also like to point out that bar some really shakey moments during the Sweden game I was thrilled with our two centre halfs" Rio was excellent, Terry was good but not up to his Chealsea standards. Actually the shaky moments vs Sweden coincided with Campbell coming on. Either way our biggest problem is Paul Robinson, who despite being a marvellous shotstopper did not command his defence and looked nervous throghout the WC. Needs to grow bigger balls..compare him to Kahn opr Lehmann or Schmeical etc...bit of a worry this one.

Aaaaaaaaah, thats better. By the way, the two playa haters getting my back up were the co-stars of Malking Tovies, a really very good movie podcast. If either of them want a fight i'm well up for it...

Always look on the brght side...

Its been a while since i last blogged properly. There's a simple explanation for this. About a month ago i finished university, and freed from the shackles of academia i have been having a rather good time, alcoholically speaking. Anyway, in this brief moment of sobriety i thought i'd cheer you all up. Here's the positives from England's far from brilliant World Cup experience.

1) Sven is gone. Good Riddance.

2) Turns out Owen Hargreaves is pretty ace. I never doubted him.

3) Beckham has quit as captain. This will solve a lot of problems in team selection. He is a great player, not world class, but great. He is, however, not good enough to play on the right for Enlgand, which is surely now the property of Aaron Lennon. Lets hope Maclaren has the balls to enact this. Furthermore, whilst Beckham was able to lead by example, he was not really able to lead in any other way. Gerrard or Terry can lead by example and give rousing team talks, chip in tactically etc...

4) Frank Lampard has shown that he is a poor man's Stevie Gerrard. If England's midfield is to become a diamond with Hargreaves playing deep, Gerrard will surely now be picked as the forward option. Midfield solved?: Cole, Hargreaves, Gerrard, Lennon.

5) Hopefully we have seen the last of Chriatiano Ronaldo in the premiership. He is an absolutely brilliant player, but you'd have to be better than Ronaldinho to make up for the sheer amnmount of twattishness he has demonstrated.

6) We are in good company. Brazil, Argentina and Spain (who would have thought?) also badly underacheived.

7)Our best XI are all young enough to be in fine form for Euro 2008.

The Maclaren era begins!!!!!!(cue uprorious excitement)

Couchsurfing RIP

Hello y'all. Very unrelated to football, but those of you who know me will know that couchsurfing.com meant a lot to me. This morning almost a hundred thousand of us were informed that it is no more- link. Anyone who ever hosted me or i hosted, please get in touch. This is not the end (trigger pheonix from the flames).

Football Philosophy

So, this is my first ever drunk blog. i really am pissed, and yet dominating this keyboard...awesome. probably gonna regret this. As the byproduct iof the particularly drunken conversaTION i have just been having, i have had the following epiphany..........

to be a successful footballing nation you need the requisite ammounts of the following ingredients...ie they all need to balance out at about 7 out of 10. you'll understand in a minute.

1) Demographics
law of averages..the more people you have, the more likely you are to produce a footballing genius.

2)Economics
pump enough money into something and it has more chance of succeeding

3)Enthusiasm
if you want something bad enough you can get it

4) physicality
football is a sport. these days you need to be smehting pretty special if you aren't physically strong.

Now, as you are all screaming out...these are all gargantuan generalities..but my point is that you need a balance of the four. Trinidad's demographic deficiency is made up by their physicality and enthusiasm. China are currently not that good because their lack of natural physicality renders their demographicd, economic input and enthusiasm redundant. Brazil are amazing because their physicality, enthusiasma and demographics vastly outweigh their lack of economic input, whcih proportionaly is still pretty good.

so, to be a succesful footballing nation you need a balnce of the four. What do you lot think?..i genuinely want to know...

Ribery to do an Owen?

Whilst in Marseille the other night (darling) i saw the French team almost slip up against oriental upstarts China. For anyone who didn't watch the game, do not be fooled by the result...had a Chniese player not scored a hillarious own goal in the 90th minute the match would have finished 1-1, Henry's goal a minute later was meaningless.

However, I wish not to comment on France's near humiliation, nor on the recent penchent of international teams to play a bunch of absolute arse pre-tournament to boost morale (Luxembourg got twatted by both Germany and Portugal, whose previous opponents were the Cape Verde Islands, England destroyed Jamaica etc...)..but instead of a young Mr Frank Ribery.

France's starting midfield last night was Malouda, Zidane, Vieira and Makalele...can anyone spot the problem? Two holding midfielders require either two attacking wingers infront of them, or an attacking midfielder and two wingers (like Chelsea). So then lets see...Malouda did the bit on the left, but Zidane has never been a winger, so barely bothered going wide, leaving France's only threat from the right as Willy Sangol...it was all a bit akward, and cocequently rubbish. Then Ribery came on, filled in the gaps that Zidane was only filling half of, and was the key force behind France's last two goals.

Rather like Hoddle's conundrum with Beckham and Owen in 1998, Domenech has to drop favourites to get Ribery in...either Zidane straight up, or one of Makalele or Vieira to make the midfield a diamond with Ribery on the right- what i would have thought is the best solution. Either way, France's midfield is a bugger to pick. Maybe then Guilly's exclusion was merely to spare a further headache! (And it seems our left-wing problem has headed south, as with the only natural left foot in the squad- as my hon. freind Johnny pointed out- Maloudiocre is the only one who's place is semi-guaranteed.)

Whatever Domenech decides, Ribery looks shit hot, and i predict him to shine when he plays. I also predict him to be an arsenal player next year, he had Arsenal written all over him...quick passer and runner, direct, seemed to flourish on the break, linked up nicely with Sir Thierry etc...watch this space.

Up Yours BBC

Any West Ham fan will tell you the BBC have a bit of an anti-Westh Ham bias. From consitently playing our highlights last, from Lawro ALWAYS predicting we will lose, and the final indignity.......not including a single West Ham goal in Goal of the Season. Anyone in doubt, have a look at these corkers...and tell me at least one of them didn't deserve to be included:






Eat that Lawro!

On the Defensive

With England’s perennial left wing conundrum well and truly solved, the great holding midfielder debate can begin. To begin…should we have one at all? Well, yes quite frankly, for two reasons:

Firstly it solves the problem of the utilisation of Lampard and Gerrard. This is an obvious one; with a holding midfielder they can drive forward, and is the best of a bad situation with the absence of Rooney.

Secondly, if England want to win the World Cup, it is highly arguable that their arch nemeses this time around will be attacking midfielders. Ronaldinho, Messi, Riquelme, Ballack, Zidane, Nedved, Christiano Ronaldo, and Kaka will pose just as much, if not more threat than the obvious candidates up front such as Ronaldo, Torres, Shevchenko, Henry, Van Nistelrooy etc. Thus a spare in front of the back two could be invaluable.

With this in consideration, Hargreaves and Carrick simply don’t have the mettle, and Carragher is our man. With a few stipulations (based on tonight’s performance): Firstly, if he is going to pass the ball backwards and sideways, which is fine, he has to do it quickly, rather than dithering like he did on many occasions tonight. Our midfield four also have to give him early options. We don’t need Carra to run with it, or pick out through balls, just passing it on will do nicely thanks, so do it quickly.

Perhaps more importantly, Carragher will have to concede less fouls. He conceded at least 5 in the first half today, and better teams would have punished this. If the referee today is anything like what we will get in the World Cup, Carragher is the kind of player that will be frequently penalised.

So, Carragher is our man, as long as he releases the ball quicker, and fouls less. He is a world class player, but doesn’t have much class, so lets just hope he does his job.

EXCLUSIVE: Crouch the Hotstepper

Got sent this a few days ago. A Benji's Balls Exclusive(!)...introducing Crouch the Hotstepper! Cheers to Dan for the technical assistance. Another reason to worship the big man.